Anti Depressants, BPD, dating, depression, updates

(Another) Life Update

I'm genuinely surprised it's been over a year since I last wrote a post! So naturally I don't know where to start. I suppose it'll be a life update. Since I last posted (June 2021), I became homeless. I still am, technically, but after 9 months in a council hostel I'm finally in a 1… Continue reading (Another) Life Update

dating, emotional abuse, journalling

When Attachment Trauma Is Triggered…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFxA-5cPWSI tw: suicidal ideation, trauma ...it feels like the end of the world It might show up as an onslaught of tears that just won't stop. It might mean numbness, spiralling, dissociation. It might mean navigating the world stone-faced, through a grey lens, unfocused but also hyperfocused: unfocused on the world around us but hyperfocused… Continue reading When Attachment Trauma Is Triggered…

Anti Depressants

Three Weeks On Sertraline

Trigger warning: suicidal ideation and self-injury It's been over three weeks now since I started taking sertraline, an SSRI anti-depressant. Also known as Zoloft and Lustral amongst other things. In my last blog post, I ran over the initial side effects and how it felt during the adjustment period. Now I feel as if those… Continue reading Three Weeks On Sertraline

depression, journalling, Thinkpiece, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On…Refusing Medication

Trigger warning: suicidal ideation. * * * I've wanted to leave this earth forever countless times. I first wrote a song about it at age 15. How unoriginally "angsty" of me. What are teenagers like, eh? Not a care in the world yet somehow still finding something to whinge about. Human despair is a strange… Continue reading Thoughts On…Refusing Medication

depression, journalling

The Detrimental Impact of Toxic Shame

Trigger warning: self-harm and suicidal ideation * * * Alyse Parker, a YouTuber and life coach I follow, said in one of her recent videos that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. That was definitely a thought-provoker for me. Because I spend a lot of my time… Continue reading The Detrimental Impact of Toxic Shame