codependency, CPTSD, emotional abuse, journalling

Somebody Else

Trigger warning: disordered eating, restriction and emotional abuse * * * First of all, and potentially last of all, she's prettier than me. There was a sinking feeling of sorts, when I happened across her page. Ah, I see it. I see what he sees in her. Because she's prettier than me. Prettier than me,… Continue reading Somebody Else

Poetry, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On…Dating Apps + A Poem

The importance of not coming off "desperate" or "clingy" cannot be overstated, it would seem, when it comes to dating. And for good reason. It can be off-putting, alarming even, for someone to respond instantaneously to every message you send them and to be perpetually agreeable and pliable. Also, venting your off-base frustrations with them… Continue reading Thoughts On…Dating Apps + A Poem

counselling, Thoughts On...

On Feeling Unwanted

So this has been the main complex rearing its head for me over the past few weeks. Something happens, I experience emotional overwhelm and when I drill right down into it - I feel unwanted. Disposed of. Refused. Rejected. It doesn't matter if it's to do with the timeframe in which someone has or hasn't… Continue reading On Feeling Unwanted

Thoughts On..., Uncategorized

Thoughts On… Parenting + Forgiveness

Many people think that if you've had a particularly troubling childhood and can learn from it, it'll allow you to be confident in your style of parenting and child-rearing. I don't really feel this way. On the contrary, I am terrified of having children. I like to think that I am always growing in self-awareness… Continue reading Thoughts On… Parenting + Forgiveness

Self Acceptance, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On… A Few Days Of Self Acceptance

Things have felt much easier since I've been accepting my feelings and my situation. Last week, I went from still living out of my suitcase in my tiny room in Edinburgh to actually unpacking and trying to make myself feel at home. I put my makeup, perfume and toiletries on the shelf and bought a… Continue reading Thoughts On… A Few Days Of Self Acceptance

self awareness, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On… A Week Of Self Awareness

Training in self awareness came at the perfect time because this week has been pretty hectic. Work has been busy. Like, out of control busy. Like, you know when you have a few really important things that you need to do immediately but you physically can't because you're too busy? You can see tables covered in… Continue reading Thoughts On… A Week Of Self Awareness