Creativity + Productivity Updates, journalling, updates

Life Update What's new: I'm seeing someone, kindaI'm tired almost all the time (see below)I most likely have coeliac diseaseI'm about halfway through finishing my debut EP and first project as philomenahI broke up with my therapistI'm considering switching anti-depressants About the guy I'm seeing: he's not perfect. But he is lovely. Some things about him… Continue reading Life Update


A Reintroduction Not sure how to begin this blog post but I now go under the handle of ph!lomenah! This blog used to be called SMUT. and Self Esteem and it's now ph!lomenah's safe space. My stage name as a musician used to be SMUT. and now it' get the gist. I decided it fairly spontaneously… Continue reading A Reintroduction

Creativity + Productivity Updates, journalling

Life Update

I've not written in a couple of months and I don't feel like I have the brain power to write anything particularly conceptual or structured. So this is just a life update, I guess. Since I last wrote, the madness of Covid-19 swept the world - throughout which I was working full-time in pharmacy. I… Continue reading Life Update

Thinkpiece, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On…The Scrutiny Of Women

* * * "Your legs are are getting astronomically long!" my Dad exclaimed one day, surveying my body. "In fact, your thighs are about 4 inches longer than what they should be." I laughed, taking this as a compliment. This was the usual - if it was a joke, then I couldn't rightfully be hurt… Continue reading Thoughts On…The Scrutiny Of Women

counselling, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On…The First Week Without Therapy

I was going to publish a post today that I wrote earlier about the concept of "getting better" and how that can be problematic in itself; but it doesn't feel true to how I feel right now. I don't feel like I have any supposed "truth bombs" I can drop and feel self-satisfied about right… Continue reading Thoughts On…The First Week Without Therapy

Creativity + Productivity Updates

The Joy Of Performing: A Day In The Life

Technically, my day starts in the morning when I'm getting ready for work. But it really starts at night. I get home around 6.30pm and already the clock is ticking. I have to be out for around 9 or sometimes earlier so I eat whatever is easiest. On a good day, leftovers; on a not… Continue reading The Joy Of Performing: A Day In The Life

Thoughts On...

A Return To Writing + Thoughts On… Resistance + Creativity

I've spent a lot of time trying to heal. Where some suppress their demons and walk about with a sense of unease, I have stripped them bare; to my counsellors, to my friends - to myself. But I have been carrying around with me a sense of unease about something else - my creativity; in… Continue reading A Return To Writing + Thoughts On… Resistance + Creativity

Self Forgiveness

Self Forgiveness – Setting Intentions

Making big life decisions typically involves making sacrifices. When these sacrifices affect others, it can be difficult not to internalise guilt. It's not necessarily as easy as "doing what makes you happy" when this affects the happiness of others and, in turn, when you account for the guilt, your own. I read something today that… Continue reading Self Forgiveness – Setting Intentions

Creativity + Productivity Updates

Creativity + Productivity Update #4

It wasn't too long ago I that I had my last productivity update but I feel a lot has changed in a month. I've gone from not working on much music to having 4 collaborations in progress at the same time and one of my own tracks, too. I had a surge of inspiration and… Continue reading Creativity + Productivity Update #4