codependency, CPTSD, emotional abuse, journalling

Somebody Else

Trigger warning: disordered eating, restriction and emotional abuse * * * First of all, and potentially last of all, she's prettier than me. There was a sinking feeling of sorts, when I happened across her page. Ah, I see it. I see what he sees in her. Because she's prettier than me. Prettier than me,… Continue reading Somebody Else

codependency, emotional abuse, Thinkpiece, Thoughts On...

Desire Is Not Respect: Attraction + Trauma Bonding

Something that's changed for me significantly in the past few years is the way I approach attraction and romantic interest. This is quite encouraging for me because experiencing frequent bouts of depression sometimes makes me feel that everything is stagnant and that there's no point to anything; so it's really nice to feel like despite… Continue reading Desire Is Not Respect: Attraction + Trauma Bonding

emotional abuse, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On… Abuse + Free Will

I had an exchange with a couple of people on an Instagram post the other day. The post was about controlling parents and it presented the idea that when we emotionally separate from controlling parents, their response can tell us whether they truly love us or if they just love the control they have over… Continue reading Thoughts On… Abuse + Free Will

emotional abuse

“It’s Just A Joke” – The Many Faces Of Emotional Abuse

Any time I've found myself in a truly toxic situation or dynamic, it hasn't been until after the fact that I've been able to acknowledge it. It's difficult to categorise someone's words or actions as abusive when you feel fondness towards them. When you love someone - romantically or otherwise - you feel as if… Continue reading “It’s Just A Joke” – The Many Faces Of Emotional Abuse

enmeshment, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On… Five Years Of Emotional Separation

Some things in life do not require constant practice to maintain a base level of skill; riding a bike, for example. Visiting my Dad again after having not done so for 5 years was like this. Except it was as if I had the experience of countless bloody falls and grazes to remind me to… Continue reading Thoughts On… Five Years Of Emotional Separation

enmeshment

Enmeshment – Seductive Behaviour

I've wanted to write this post for a while. I said I would write about the sexually-charged aspect of enmeshment when I wrote my first post on this topic - Enmeshment + Codependency: A Tangled Web - but it's difficult because I'm embarrassed and ashamed. Is it possible to isolate the idea of sexuality from the term… Continue reading Enmeshment – Seductive Behaviour

Self Responsibility, Thoughts On...

Thoughts On… A Week Of Self Responsibility

In all honesty, this week has been a blur. I remember because I didn't do my weekly planner until Friday. I did however, do all the college assignments I needed to do. It's just that when it came to myself this week, most things fell to the wayside. Seems a bit hilarious admitting this when… Continue reading Thoughts On… A Week Of Self Responsibility