At work this week, the topic of relationships came up and I mentioned to a colleague that I wanted to stay single for 2 years. One pharmacist I was working with overheard me and seemed aghast, gasping: "That's so sad!" "Not as sad as being a relationship that makes you miserable," I replied, defending my… Continue reading Conscious Avoidance
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Shadow Work + God-Consciousness
Something I've been struggling with a lot lately is social media. And just my phone in general. I'm finding it veeeeery difficult to limit my usage and I feel like my third eye is so clouded at the moment. Round about the new moon in Cancer a few weeks ago, I did have a very… Continue reading Shadow Work + God-Consciousness
Working Backwards: CPTSD
Chronic emotional abandonment devastates a child. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed. Functional parents respond to a child's depression with concern and comfort. Abandoning parents respond to the child with anger, disgust and/or further abandonment, which in turn exacerbate the fear, shame and despair that become the abandonment mélange. Overreaction to… Continue reading Working Backwards: CPTSD
A Dreamless Codeine Sleep
I watched a brilliant film last night called "Call Me By Your Name" about a seventeen-year-old boy and a man in his twenties who fall in love over the course of a summer. It's one of the most beautiful love stories I've ever seen. It captures the headiness, the intoxication, the tenderness, the pain, the… Continue reading A Dreamless Codeine Sleep
73 Things About Me ✨
Today I sat down to write and Starbucks' irritating and contrived folk music drained my inspiration so I put in my headphones, played some Travis Scott and decided to do this tag! Meditative Owl is who I saw doing it first and I thought it'd be fun! So here goes: 1. What is your usual Starbucks order? … Continue reading 73 Things About Me ✨
Meeting Beautiful People
In my last post, I detailed a confusing encounter with a guy wherein I thought an uneven power dynamic was prevailing. However, as it turns out, he was just shy. And I realised that it was his initial uncaring demeanour that had attracted me in the first place. Regardless, he invited me to a party… Continue reading Meeting Beautiful People
✨ The Magic Of Solitude ✨
Today has been, so far, maybe the best day of this year. Maybe I'm overcompensating because I was so recently broken up with and, of course, I had plenty of great times with him this year before that happened. But I have always felt that the happiness experienced in solitude has a magic to it… Continue reading ✨ The Magic Of Solitude ✨
Breakups + Self-Care 💔
What I say: I love and accept myself exactly as I am I approve of myself My heart has boundless strength I am brave to love It is safe to be vulnerable What I do: Cry. Howl. Wail (currently trying not to though as I'm in a coffee shop). Write songs (allowing crying breaks, of… Continue reading Breakups + Self-Care 💔
Inheriting A Lack Mentality
Patterns often repeat themselves within families. Genetics is commonly used as an explanation for this. Addictive personalities, disposition to depression and anxiety, abusive relationships maybe. I'm becoming more and more sceptical of genetics being used as scapegoat for unhealthy patterns and more open to the idea that the "monkey see, monkey do" nature of children… Continue reading Inheriting A Lack Mentality
How To Deal With Anger + Overwhelm
I'm no stranger to being angry or overwhelmed. These days I'm reasonably good at hiding my anger, so people are usually quite surprised when I tell them I have a temper. But it's there! It kinda runs on both sides of the family - my Mam and Dad can both be pretty irritable - and… Continue reading How To Deal With Anger + Overwhelm
philomenah's safe space 