Chronic emotional abandonment devastates a child. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed. Functional parents respond to a child's depression with concern and comfort. Abandoning parents respond to the child with anger, disgust and/or further abandonment, which in turn exacerbate the fear, shame and despair that become the abandonment mélange. Overreaction to… Continue reading Working Backwards: CPTSD
Category: journalling
A Visit Home, Emotional Separation + Maintaining Boundaries
This time last week, I was back in Shetland for the first time in 1½ years. Prior to this, I'd found myself growing unusually homesick. Seeing people on social media doing the regular, banal things like frequenting the dingy local bars and taking coastal walks was sending pangs of nostalgia through me. So I figured… Continue reading A Visit Home, Emotional Separation + Maintaining Boundaries
The Muddy Waters Of Covert Anxiety
I didn't think I'd see myself writing another post about anxiety - at least not in the context of my current experience. I wrote one particular post a while ago going in depth about my experiences with diagnosed anxiety and agoraphobia; and how receiving cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) dramatically improved my symptoms. Something I've been… Continue reading The Muddy Waters Of Covert Anxiety
More Thoughts On… Boundaries + Codependency
Yeah, this is definitely not the first time I've written about this but you know what - a bitch got stuff to say so I'm exploring it again. Codependency has been playing on my mind the past few weeks partly because of the kind of content I've been consuming lately. I've recently had a brilliant… Continue reading More Thoughts On… Boundaries + Codependency
Thoughts On… Social Media + What I Don’t Like About Blogging
Part of what drives my passion for blogging (and songwriting, actually) is a striving towards vulnerability. This is because so much of what is prevalent in the media at the moment is contrived and emotionless. And I would like to see more people taking an openhearted and radically honest approach to content creation and self-expression.… Continue reading Thoughts On… Social Media + What I Don’t Like About Blogging
The Problem With “Getting Better”…
...is that it implies there is something "wrong" with you in the first place. I've had a shift in perspective recently when it comes to self help, mental illness and shadow work. It's not something that always made sense to me, that truly bringing about positive change starts with radical acceptance of where we are… Continue reading The Problem With “Getting Better”…
“To Descend Is Also God’s Will” – Radical Acceptance, Depression + A Poem
It's been roughly a year since my last episode of depression began. That might seem like a sign that it was seasonal-affective induced. However, more than any other time of year, I typically associate late spring with being the time that I typically start to experience depression; so I think that the arrival of winter… Continue reading “To Descend Is Also God’s Will” – Radical Acceptance, Depression + A Poem
Counselling, Validation + Childhood Fantasy
I don't really know what to write about today specifically, so I suppose I'll just write about how I feel and what's on my mind. After last week's outburst post, I knew that my next counselling session would feel different. I told him today that it felt like a month since our last session. He… Continue reading Counselling, Validation + Childhood Fantasy
I Wanted To Share With You
I wanted to share with you. I had a list, in fact, of topics and prompts which would set this room aglow with pure connection. We would talk about boundaries and how well I'm setting and maintaining them, we'd talk about anger and grief and how well I'm navigating and managing them, we'd talk about… Continue reading I Wanted To Share With You
Healing Addiction Via Buddhism + A Happy Birthday
Since my last blog post, I've been on a week-long Buddhist retreat and celebrated my 24th birthday. I'll insert a passage from my journal reflecting on turning 24: "That's a great age," women in their 30's tell me; but in a way, I feel more pressure upon hearing that. I receive it to mean that… Continue reading Healing Addiction Via Buddhism + A Happy Birthday