Nature, The New Year & Friendship vs. Loneliness

On the way to the airport today to fly back to Edinburgh, I saw two ponies braced against the weather. Rain was lashing down and being thrashed about by the wind. Animals always seem to retain a sense of nobility in the face of bad weather. They stood there in the field, heads bowed in a stoic stance. These animals, too, know joy. In the sun they will charge about in the fields, they will roll around and play in the snow. Mother nature, like life, goes in cycles and no one knows this better than animals. And it’s being immersed in nature that grants these animals their wisdom and acceptance of life as it is.

I am very lucky in that I live in a place where nature is easily accessible. I live near some woods, my walk to college is for the most part lined by trees and my college is near the sea. Despite this, I don’t feel I’ve really made the most of the nature that is on my doorstep. I’ve never actually stood at the coast in Edinburgh, I’ve never visited the botanical gardens – I’ve never truly sat in nature and drunk it in the whole time I’ve been here. I plan to change that this year.

I have many resolutions that I’ve set for the year ahead, most of which I want to keep to myself. The main theme, however, is discipline. I watched a video recently about a vegan weightlifter who practices cyclic fasting and meditation and who only eats one meal a day. At the end of the video, he says:

“Subjecting yourself to self-imposed discipline is the surest way to increase the quality of your existence. Period.”

I feel that this is a quote I will carry in my head for a long time.

By the time I left for my flight today, there was still a gale blowing but the sun had started to peek through the thick layer of cloud, creating a yellow haze. I was in a great mood because I’d met an old friend in the departure lounge, someone I used to work with, and it reminded me of the simplicity of good friendships. It reminded me that it can be easy, that I don’t always have to try to get people to like me. At college, I feel I have made efforts to make good friends to virtually no avail. I mean, I have “college friends” but those friendships start and end with the school day. It was a relief to speak to someone with which minimal effort is required, someone who understands your humour and likes you for who you are – someone with whom the feeling is mutual. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me because I don’t make good friends easy. But just because somebody else has more friends than you, it doesn’t mean that all those friendships are fulfilling. Seeing her again was a good confidence boost for me.

Right now, as I write this, I am flying over snow-covered mountains. The sky is orange on the horizon, fading to white and the sun is glinting off the metal propellor outside my window. I am filled with hope for the new year.

Thanks for reading.

– SMUT. ❤ xxxx